Cricket World Cup Update - March 31st

This is breathtaking.
So much so that I am breathless.
Some of you know that I have been on a world cup cricket watching spree.
Although I have yet to watch a single match in Bangladesh, I have watched more live cricket in this past month than I have in years.

Mohali is a beautiful ground. Any of you that gets a chance to go watch a game in Mohali should go. Especially if Pakistan is playing.
By far the most enjoyable game for me. And for those who were following my 5 over emails, I apologize. After I saw Dhoni turn his back, I just couldn't keep my nerves calm enough to let my fingers do the typing.

And after that - I was too engrossed in the situation to get back to typing.
The game itself was interesting but the stadium was infinitely more so.
The energy in that place was absolutely killer. Everybody was just turned ON. It was a great experience. The closest a cricket game has ever come to a music concert where you and the crowd around you get in the same zone.
I highly recommend this.
I know a lot of people can not watch a 5 day match. That is because it takes a love for playing the game to follow a 5 day match. A test  match is not a spectator sport for spectators. It's a spectator sport for players.
And I know a lot of you prefer the 4 hour version. That is because you are morons.
And for the many of you who like to watch a 1 day match. Get yourself tickets to a day nighter in Mohali. I recommend it highly.

And yes, I'm going to the final. I am in Mumbai already, writing this from Jazz by the Bay on my phone.
I do not think I will be sending updates on the final. I'm not going to mar my experience of being at the cricket world cup final by sending out cynical short bursts of angry pancreatic fluid disguised as reports.

You guys enjoy the game.
And as a parting note - if you belong to the group of people who believe the match yesterday was fixed, then while I applaud your cynicism - after all it is a trait I base many of my own judgments on - I also pity how much of your soul you have lost to this most dangerous of traits.
Regardless of your cynicism, you should retain the ability to enjoy a good emotional ride. Keep your cynicism in check my buddies. If you do, it will guide you. If you don't, you'll become a cold, mistrusting, shifty eyed, soulless, paranoid freak.

Catch you after the game.
UPDATE - March 31, Midnight
Sorry just now got through a bunch of mail.
1. Which matches did you watch?
Sun Feb 20 - Kenya v New Zealand, Chepauk, Chennai       
Thu Feb 24 - South Africa v West Indies, FSK Delhi   
Sun Feb 27 - India v England, Chinnaswamy, Bangalore   
Wed Mar 2 - England v Ireland, Chinnaswamy, Bangalore   
Sat Mar 5 - Sri Lanka v Australia, Premadasa, Colombo   
Sat Mar 12 - India v South Africa, VCA, Nagpur   
Thu Mar 17 - England v West Indies, Chepauk, Chennai   
Sat Mar 19 - Australia v Pakistan, Premadasa Colombo   
Sun Mar 20 -  India v West Indies, Chepauk, Chennai   
Thu Mar 24 - India v Australia, Sardar Patel, Ahmedabad   
Sat Mar 26 - Sri Lanka v England, Premadasa, Colombo   
Wed Mar 30 - India v Pakistan, Mohali, Chandigarh
Sat Apr 2 - India v Sri Lanka, Wankhede, Mumbai

2. How did you get tickets to all the matches?
League matches were easy as you will imagine. I just bought them as soon as I could, and I bought the nicer seats so I didnt really have problems with the ticket issuances in the early matches.
I had decided early that I would not go to Bangladesh, so I didnt buy any tickets for that country knowing that I would miss the India quarter final if we were going to play in Mirpur. Thankfully that didnt happen
Here's the crazy part. Semi's I bought tickets to both. I couldn't possibly make both (Colombo to Mohali in one early morning ain't happening.) So I thought I'd buy both and pick the one that promised to be a better game. No brainer there.
And the tickets to the finals is a gift from a close friend who is a senior executive at one of the major sponsors.

3. How did you manage time off from work?
I don't understand this question. I told them I will be taking the following days off as soon as I had the tickets.

4. Why didn't you report out on all the games?
I'm not a reporter. I'm not good at it, and it takes away from my own enjoyment. And frankly I didn't spend my hard earned money so that I could get YOUR nuts off.

5. Please Report on the Final.

6. Get on Facebook/Twitter/Orkut/Friendster/MySpace
I dont see the point. I'm open to convincing arguments, but I doubt there is one.

7. You're a lucky Sonovabitch for getting all those tix.
Not to be condescending, but you could have done the same. There is a small percentage of you who would probably say you can not afford the expense, and you may be right but I doubt it. If you really wanted to do it, you could. Work, Money, Travel and Time are excuse. So no. I'm not lucky. You're a dumass.


Cricket World Cup Rant - March 4th

After my last post where I expressed sympathy for the bottom four teams, Ireland took it upon themselves to outdo what we did against England. On the backs of the world cups fastest ever century, they made the English look kinda silly. Immediately I thought of how if my blog was more popular, tons of people would write in saying "A-ha! See! Moron!" or some such unintelligent, badly constructed attempts at witticism pointing out how I was wrong and too quick to judge.

And then Pakistan almost capitulated against Canada.
I still stick by my stand though. The poor sons of bitches in the bottom four are just the whipping boys of the tournament that are making the watching of it longer and boring-er than should be legally allowed. (And yes I am aware of all the things that are legally not allowed but yet commonplace in our country, and that is an aside I do not want to get into right now, sorry.)
My point is, those freak games prove nothing other than the fact that on a good day a strong man can make inept bowling and fielding pay. And that if you play your high school team enough times, you will eventually lose one.
And Pakistan versus Canada? Please. Pakistan is Pakistan. This kinda shit happens to them all the time. They are sometimes exude effervescent brilliance and sometimes terrifying dumb.

New Zealand relaxed around a woeful Zimbabwe, and Bangladesh were insulted by West Indies in full public view in a match that failed to last 32 overs in all, and barely put a 100 runs on the board
Speaking on Pakistan and West Indies though. Here's a headline from Cricinfo:
The first thing that ran across my mind, was a picture of a bus riding slowly with a lazy smile and half closed eyes going "this is some good shit mate.. toke it up!!" And that disturbing thought later I was wondering why the Bangladeshi's throwing shit at their own players? They're the ones that sucked..
On closer inspection, I found out that some upstanding citizens had indeed mistaken the bus for the Bangladeshi ones and had taken it upon themselves to hand out justice. 
Fucking idiots.
Isn't humanity amazing?

Cricket World Cup Report

In other news, dont you just love how everybody is enjoying beating up on the poor hapless souls who have been flown in from near and far to act as punching bags of the top 6 teams in word cricket.
As I type this England is cruising along against Ireland and Cricinfo is telling me that the Brit middle order is laying a solid foundation. 200 is 35 over is more than a solid foundation.
It's a fucking thumping.
When I last heard "beat under 10" that meant losing before you reached 10 points in Table Tennins. Now it means your opponents overhauled your total in less than 10 overs.

And TV has promo shots where commentators (which actually comes from the French and Latin roots "comme" meaning like, "entat" meaning intestinal and "ors" meaning outpourings) are telling me how Sri Lanka are taking on Kenya
If anything it should be Kenya taking on Sri Lanka you babbling fools.
David took on Goliath not the other way around, ya fuckin moron.

Maybe if you had said Sri Lanka pick on Kenya tonight, it would make a bit more sense, but then if you had sense, then you wouldn't be spouting shit in between deliveries and filling in space between commercials.
Look, I feel bad for you. The TV guys put gel on your head and force you into suits and make you talk in English and on top of that some people in the audience actually want you to think for your money. Fuck 'em, right? I get it.
My question is, how do I get in on the action?

You gotta love the Times of India

Some of you know this already, but I love the Times of India. I especially love how their campaigns such as Lead India and such have led to everlasting change and imbued the cynical population of our country with renewed hope and vigor.
I also love how they will not tolerate corruption by our elected representatives regardless of how minor the errors of their ways might be.
Just look at how they went after Mr Raja

If you read through this scan from the front page top half article from today's Times, you will notice that even though Mr Raja only took in the pitiable sum of Rs 3000, and went through the trouble of hiding it in his wife's accounts in island nations, the Times got to the bottom of it.

Thank you Times of India. Now that you have found out where they stashed the 3000 rupees, maybe we can find out what happened to the other 2999.9997 FUCKING CRORES you lazy proof-reader-less tabloid monkeys!!!