The Tie

What a scary fuckin match, huh?
I thought matches were tied when both teams deserved to win. In yesterday's case, it was because neither did. They both played some terrible basic cricket. Admittedly they both displayed flashes of greatness, but overall I think they both threw away the win.  .

And I heard today that Dhoni was pissed off with the UDRS decision. I don't understand what for.
Here's what happened.
Bell got rapped on his pads; Bowden said not out; Yuvi convinced his Mahi to appeal; Fourth umpire said looks like it would have hit middle, boys, but the dude was 2.5metres out in front;Bowden said - Not out.

Everything here happened according to the rule book. The rule book says that if the batsman is that much out in front, then the fourth umpire passes that info to the on field umpire and the umpire is allowed to factor in whatever uncertainty he sees when the dude is that much out in front. Bowden was uncertain. Bell stayed in, bashed another 52 and played an important part is scaring the shit out of screaming India fans in the stadium.

Now Dhoni goes about saying he's upset, and there's some adulteration of human and technological judgement. Bah humbug, I say.
He says either use technology or humans. Look, if there was no UDRS, we would have still got Bowden's original decision. Not Fucking Out. So there,I know it sucks, swallow your rage, and regurgitate it back up against your lazy ass fielders, who let the English milk them for singles. And you know when they say "milked for singles"?? When fielders move like fucking COWS!!

And here's a couple more messages I would send out if I was friendly enough with these - "players" - to call them and express my consternation:
Munaf Patel: You gave out 12 runs to tailenders. Shame on you.
Yuvraj: Don't gloat about that 50 - you ain't outta the woods yet bro. More than half of your runs were streaky and I'm not so convinced you've hit form
Piyush Chawla: What the fuck? What was that celebration for the wicket off your last ball? Relief? You gave away 3 fucking 6-ers, you shmuck! Did you forget that part? No really, what the fuck is the celebration FOR??

Sachin: Field dude Field. And Bowl. You wanna win this one? You better not just bat, you hear me?

Eating Crow

I do not know where that phrase orginates. It sounds like quite an unpleasant thing to do - munch on a scavenging ugly looking and ugly sounding little critter... But I know what it means. To accept that you were wrong and admit to your foolishness.
I was wrong about Virat Kohli.
The way he played against bangladesh was a revelation. His cover driving was Dravid-esque and I found myself almost wishing him to throw away his wicket like he has done in the past just so I would be vindicated.
He didn't.
Damn him.
But if he can continue in this vein, he's quite an asset in the middle order.

And talking about changing application: Sehwag, that rambunctious swiper outside the offstump, played an innings so good, I shuddered. Can you imagin what will happen if he could curb his malevolence when the spinner is brought on, and saved his disdain till the batting powerplays?

Granted, both these guys showed glimpses of surmounting what I despised in them against minnows. But Bagladesh is the biggest of the minnows. And I am (as always) cynical about whether they will show the same combination of thought and gumption against more accomplished bowling.
But if they do, we're in for a treat of a world cup boys.

So Kohli, here's to you. Good job. I eat my words. Keep it going. Even though I still think you're ugly, you're now a key player in our side in my reckoning. You can't do anything about that hirsute face and short forehead of yours, but you can win us the world cup. And for that, I'm sure many (more) women would be forgiving....

Hello Ladies!

I spent the last four months in Brazil. Awesome beaches, beautiful women, good food.. just all around great experience
Even at the office everybody was nice and accommodating; forever pointing out good bars and taking me places.
But I'm back now. And while there's not enough hatred in me yet to spew over this wasteland of blather also known as the internet, I'm sure I'll be pissed off at something soon enough.

I went in to the India office office yesterday after this long gap, and I had a great time catching up with people till I saw this guy walk toward me. He's one of the senior managers who has the amazing knack of simultaneously doing nothing and appearing busy. Lots of people think he's doing a great job carrying an entire department on his shoulders while there's some of us in the know who realize he's just a guy with a furrowed brow and a file.
People like him bring the company down. And worse, they make my stomach acids churn.

I had to take immediate evasive maneuvers to avoid him walking up to me, ask me some question, and then even before I begin to answer, walk away claimng to be going to do something of tremendous importance and diarrheal urgency. Thankfully, I succeeded that time. But this isn't going to last...