Latest Aggravations

The thing that squeezed the most amout of bile outta me over the last two months has been the Piss-off and Bhosdika. You all know who I'm talking about. Somebody should ban them for life and send them to junior high for bringing disrepute to the population segment they're from - prepubescent insecure girls with their panties bunched up.

Another thing got me squirting the yellowish green - and that was the Kar na saka politics. Isn't it sick how one community demands a specific number of positions, then gets it, and then another community demands another and get it, and so called national leaders stand by and wring their hands in despair while simultaneously planning how they will spin it to the masses? It's not?

And I think Satyameva Jayate should have that "a" at the end of Satyamev. It just doesn't sound right pronounced without that short "uh" sound.

But none of that got me to find a non-work computer and get back to positing my views to nobody in particular. You know what did?
Information scarcity in organizations. There is some information that organizations do not let anybody but the most senior people see. Some of this is so innocuous that you would wonder why the secrecy.

Wanna know how many people are working on a new product?
Can't.
Wanna know how much was spent to develop a particular system?
Can't.
Wanna know how much you saved by moving to the latest computer models?
Can't.

If you can't make information like this accesible to - at least - managers around your company, how do you expect them to be able to do their job number 2 (That is, put the right level of resources on the right projects).
And job 2 is as important as job 1 - (Figuring out what the right projects are). The increase in cardinality does not signify any reduction in importance here. 

The amount of money you spend on R&D and product enhancements is the lifeblood of any but the most banal companies. (In those, how much you spend on SG&A is more important). And everybody knows how much they spend on R&D and Products on a whole, but very few have the ability to look at that data on a per project, per product level.
Pissed me off.
PIssed me off so much, I can't even write well. Can't expresses my pissed off-ness. (see?)

Email Travails - The problems with email

Let me get on thing straight. Just because you have sent me an email, and you received the insecure read receipt request you stick on every meaningless piece of drivel that leaves your outbox, don't think I actually downloaded the contents of your note straight into my fucking brain, OK?
So don't walk up to me in the hallway and say "What do you mean you don't know why the new product is taking so long?" when the only information you provided me was embedded in the 6th email in a 823468723 long series on the purchasing of toilet seats where Raghavendra Rao said he needed more time because he had fucking tulsi pooja in his grandmothers house.

If you want somebody to know something, send out a specific note and request a response. That way you know that your desired information found it's drowsy mark and didn't get drowned out in a sea of meretricious blather.

And while we're on the topic of email, just because you have received an email, it does not mean you have to reply. A response is required only if you are adding value to the conversation at hand. And you can add value in the following ways:
An approval or rejection per your company's authority level procedures
Providing a requested response: For example, if you receive an email that says "Please confirm your attendance at the free lunch mindfuck that is going to be our quarterly project status update". You are required to respond if you intend to attend. Don't ignore and then show up only to find that there is not enough samosa chat and/or oil-onion-rice-masquearding-as-biryani for you. 
A disagreement with a proposed follow up action: For example, if you receive an email that explains a proposed prop for an upcoming presentation, and you disagree with the choice, you should reply and say "I dont think you should use a moose with irritable bowel syndrome to the company premises, even if that is a prop for your presentation on the output of the committee on employee benefits. Can we meet tomorrow to see if I can explain myself better?"
And most difficult - if you have some insight not apparent  to the distribution, but relevant to the discussion: For example in an email chain regarding how to handle an upcoming audit, you might have a flash of insight and so you contribute: "While we discuss how to painfully castrate the certifying auditor, I think we should also consider extending this action to our quality consultant - HE'S the one who actually tells our bosses we need this dude coming in here every six months and peeking up our rectums!
And continuing with the suggestions to maximize pain during castration, what about using a baseball bat?"

As you will note, in all examples I gave above, I followed my own advice about requesting a response by adding a question. So I know - if I don ot get a response from my desired mark, that the message has not been sufficiently imbibed.
So on a related note, just because you have a reason to respond, does not mean you copy the entire original distribution.
While responding to confirm your attendance at the aforementioned free lunch status update mindfuck, you don't need to copy everybody when you tell the sender that you're going to be 15 minutes late. Unless you want our VP of product development to know that you're too cheap to hire a decent man, so you hired a lecherous prick for a driver, as a consequence of which you have to go pick up your daughter from school yourself, and are perennially late to office. So chose your distribution wisely.

And finally on email signatures. Don't add your sign-off remark (warmest regards, heartfelt thanks, greatest day and other such superlatives that you put in above your name) in the standard signature. It looks really weird if you get an email from somebody that says, "Sorry to hear about the incident with the lecherous driver and your daughter, THANKS A LOT!!!, Fuck Nut."
Or,
"I am deeply disappointed with your performance over the last 3 months. This email is to put you on official notice. Warmest Regards, Thanking you, yours Sincerely, Always affectionate, Dumb Fuck"

So make your sign off specific to the email at hand, and only put your name and contact info in the signature.

The State of Indian Cricket

"We have earned the criticism", said Gambhir. No shit, Sherlock. Thanks for clearing that up.  Thanks also for pointing out that not just VVSL but the entire top order should be blamed for the current state of our batting. Again. thank you for admitting the obvious.

(VVSL, by the way stands for Very Very Superb Laxman or Very Very Soporific Laxman depending on the running average of his last three innings. He must be Very Very Startled Laxman given the speed at which the affection for him changes in some quarters of the Indian press) 

Both of Gambhir's statement are obviously true. But they're not the whole truth.  

The biggest contributor to the current infirmity of our team is hiding somewhere behind the surface of media coverage. The broken condition of cricketing in India is not due to the current performance of one or a set of players. It is the due to the baleful callousness of critical institutions in our country.

Not being a cricketer at any level, I wouldn’t know the bastards that caused the current ineptitude of our otherwise (and worryingly recently) much vaunted team,  if they walked up and spat in my face. But I have to assume that they’re powerful enough that even the brave capitulate and cower ingloriously when faced with the prospect of pointing a finger at them. 

All that said, let’s see if you can play a little game with me. Identify what comes next in the following series:

World Cup; 5 day rest; IPL; 5 day rest; England; 5 day rest; Australia; ......

(a) Sore and bleeding ass

(b) Ridicule

(c) Complete and Utter Capitulation

(d) Death

You don't have to be a mensa candidate to figure out the answer is (e) all of the above, in that order. 

Even Alexander wasn’t able to keep on going at some point, right? So how do you think Dhoni and his beatific half smile can motivate the weary? 

Now if anyone of you can tell me who may be responsible for bursting the calendar full of cricket, instantly I will have a clue as to who is responsible.

Any guesses?